Malaysia Is still beautiful... Tragic to be infested with Corruption!

I weep for my country! I weep and I ache in recent changes
Is it not obvious, Is it not transparent
That corruption is at its prime, corruption kills
The politicians Prosper but the people suffer
Damn those bastards with filled pockets,
Blood money of the people, defied by greed
The need for survival has reached desperation
The fight for life has turned ugly with violence
The people will allow this not and dark times await!
None is secure, no person safe
with the new rape of the nation,
Crime will soar, violence abounds, protest in excess
Soaring to unbelievable heights, the country fails
And virtues gone, hostile are people now
The rest of the World watch in glee
When pride and greed devours the nation
and the rest of the world will seek benefits from the aftermath
and for these do I weep, For these we all bleed
But for the government, It glees with the rising fees
And soon, chaos will strike
and those damned fools will watch the horror
for the crime against the country, for the rape of the people
And silence will be broken, citizens will cry
To the sleeping fool, an awakening will come
And sleep shall he fear
For the threat of men will keep his conscience busy
And the sufferings faced will not find pity but scorns
To Malaysia, Soon your pains will cease
Soon your people will be at peace
and those who hurt you shall be punished
You shall be vindicated, my beautiful country
And your people shall embrace You with love
Patience My beloved, Patience...

The patriotic despondency

After all these years, living in Malaysia,
i have learnt to love this country greatly despite all that is happening.

Our political system has served us well by having endless flaws to keep us (the public) entertained and equiped with Gossips. Almost every Malaysian would have something to criticize, and many would love to give recounts of their own tales, tales of the most Bizarre conspiracy theories ever known.
Ironically, Malaysia is stated as a harmonious country and one of the unique facts about this country is the diversity of races. Well, at least that's what the govt claims. Ask any citizen and one would be astounded with the given fact which are sadly truths.

but enough with politics. Malaysia is actually a good country to be in. Though the cost of living is high but then again, compared to other countries, we're very fortunate. Always count your blessings, I was always told by a pastor. haha. Anyway, we're not a war torn country. We have peace if we choose to ignore all that are happening around us.
We have enough food, enough opportunities, enough to eat, a shelter over our heads, simple cars and transportation to get us by and many beautiful people. It's not all that bad once you weigh the country overall.

I do not wish nor intend to Migrate because i feel that this country needs me and i love this country too. it's weird for me to be saying this but i guess we've got to grow up sometime.

I do wish for Malaysia to be rid of corruption and free from the grasp of evil and greedy politicians (you know who you are, Defilers of malaysia) and I'll be staying here to watch this country grow.

My health Issues

Recently, with so much happening, i've noticed my health declining. I'm ill now as i wrote, with fever, flu, and a sore throat plaguing me. Worst, it has been a few days now that i have not been well.

I suffer from certain insomnia and am unable to enjoy the regular sleep of normal hours. I get very tired physically and mentally, from all these agony and suffering. I need lots of coffee to sustain my 'soberness' and it's now like a drug that i need to get fixes regularly.

All in all, i start to wonder, am i being affected by the loss of something dear to me? Am I sick because my emotions are in a state of high imbalance and pain?

Well, whatever it is, I don't want to think of it that way. I am very weak currently and I don't know how long can i last but... death or no death, loss of anything at all, It doesn't mean i have to let it affect me and seek an excuse to hide my weakness. I will find the strength to survive and i will make sure I persevere through all this!

Ending an illusion

Many have realized that everything is about cause and effect. What you do now, you'll see the effects and suffer from it. Well, It's true. As far as I know.

Many of us do things or make certain commitments at the spur of the moment where we are strongly influenced by our Emotions. It is a gift to have emotions and a blessed ability to feel things. But is it good to overdo it and be over emotional?

MODERATION

Being overemotional, one cannot think right, think neutrally and thus, disables the most proficient and effective thinking. And it clouds judgment.

I'm happy to say, that i was able to out a mess effectively without my emotions getting in the way or my emotions affecting. If i had my emotions with me, i wouldn't be able to do and decide on that i decided. I'm actually please and relieved for doing the right thing.

Goodbye to those memories. I'll scatter them away in places where it is safest. And I shall not be nostalgic but i will move and be productive.
I'll bid my time to recover, and after that, i shall hide no more.

Facing pain

Lately i do feel different. I've realized myself behaving so oddly and i am deeply saddened by many things and the death of *****(someone and some issue which i prefer to keep silent), which deeply saddens me...

I would be a liar if i said that i wasn't affected at all. In fact, i am affected, but not in a great extent. I guess it's easier to face matters or issues: as bad as they can be or as dire, than face it later. I learn this fact from experience, to know there is no evasion from pain. An evasion or temporary one might be safe for a certain period. but being too protected only adds up to the pain that one would feel and won't that be a pay back?

I chose to face it and right now and i am glad to say that my determination and courage are paid off. I feel the sadness, i feel pain, but neither of it can suffice an influence over my emotions. I know pain is there, and ironically, i want to face it (to aid getting over it).

Pain and sufferings are necessary for growth. It is also the best catalyst for maturity.
Being able to stand through pain and hardships makes one strong but not immune. Being immune to pain is an impossible and surreal act.

Colors Of Malaysia