The inane fancy of the Parachute's Origins (a parody)

In the begining, the Almighty Squid said to the Jellyfish: "Let us leap off the sea into the new world with the likes of you."
The sensitive Jellyfish, ofended by the term 'the likes of you', got offended and encased the Almighty Squid. The Squid, which was almighty, spat a jet of colorful ink at the Jellyfish as it was being consumed, cursed the Jellyfish to be just a sheet of color and to be plunged from the sky, each time suffering the fear of heights and of crashing, and its decendants the same.
And so, for centuries, the Jellyfish who consumed the Almighty Squid whithered and became hollow and thus appeared as the First Parachute.

When Leonardo Da Vincci first encountered the Jellyfish upon his youth -the ancient creature was enormous -He was stunned when the wind spirit embraced it. He was fascinated by how the wind toyed with it lightly, and it floated so gracefully. Immedietly, he fell on the ground, emptied his bag in search of parchment and ink, began to jot down his astonishments and the awe that beheld him.
Suddenly, the wind spirit went out of breath, as an early arcane asthma struck the wind and left it breathless. The Jellyfish descended slowly, its body a light mass of soft, floating with the air, and finally landed with a pathetic gracefulness. It was just then, an unlucky obese person, who just so happened to be having a self indulged picnic, went on to investigate. Being of a surreal appetite, the obese person thought of a giant pudding and tried to eat the colorful Jellyfish.
Angered and awakened by this rape, the Jellyfish, in a fit of mad rage, extended its tendrils (which were merly stingless cords) and wrapped itself against the obese person. As the obese shouted and screamed for help, his pleas were ignored. Then the wind spirit recovered and once again went back to his game with the Jellyfish.
The Obese person was taken up with the Jellyfish and despite being visually impossible to levitate through the laws of gravity, was floating despite his weight and he seemed as light as a feather.
As Leonardo Da Vincci saw it all, in pure esctasy of morbidity, stood up and jumped for joy for an idea had come upon him. He continued to sketch but was now faced with a new problem. What to call it?
Just then the Obese began to scream in Greek: "Para! Para! (which meant faulty), Shiu! Shiu! (a noise made to brush animals away)"
And Da Vincci named it, the Parachute.

Over the years, with the advent of education and new discoveries, men learnt to obey the laws of nature, but retained the sheer cheek of bending its laws and rules. From Da Vincci's sketch, it progressed for the better, and men learnt to go on air with the help of the Wright brothers. Then men learnt to take precaution if the plane crashed, by refering to Leonardo's sketches, and soon many started to claim the invention of the parachute their own. Such as Jean Pierre Blanchard in 1785, and then a better version or a more successful version by French aeronaut, Jacques Garnerin in 1797, and many more attempts.
Over the years, the myth forgotten but the Parachute, lived to serve men.

Disclaimer, This is utter nonsense by the writer.