My health Issues

Recently, with so much happening, i've noticed my health declining. I'm ill now as i wrote, with fever, flu, and a sore throat plaguing me. Worst, it has been a few days now that i have not been well.

I suffer from certain insomnia and am unable to enjoy the regular sleep of normal hours. I get very tired physically and mentally, from all these agony and suffering. I need lots of coffee to sustain my 'soberness' and it's now like a drug that i need to get fixes regularly.

All in all, i start to wonder, am i being affected by the loss of something dear to me? Am I sick because my emotions are in a state of high imbalance and pain?

Well, whatever it is, I don't want to think of it that way. I am very weak currently and I don't know how long can i last but... death or no death, loss of anything at all, It doesn't mean i have to let it affect me and seek an excuse to hide my weakness. I will find the strength to survive and i will make sure I persevere through all this!

Ending an illusion

Many have realized that everything is about cause and effect. What you do now, you'll see the effects and suffer from it. Well, It's true. As far as I know.

Many of us do things or make certain commitments at the spur of the moment where we are strongly influenced by our Emotions. It is a gift to have emotions and a blessed ability to feel things. But is it good to overdo it and be over emotional?

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Being overemotional, one cannot think right, think neutrally and thus, disables the most proficient and effective thinking. And it clouds judgment.

I'm happy to say, that i was able to out a mess effectively without my emotions getting in the way or my emotions affecting. If i had my emotions with me, i wouldn't be able to do and decide on that i decided. I'm actually please and relieved for doing the right thing.

Goodbye to those memories. I'll scatter them away in places where it is safest. And I shall not be nostalgic but i will move and be productive.
I'll bid my time to recover, and after that, i shall hide no more.

Facing pain

Lately i do feel different. I've realized myself behaving so oddly and i am deeply saddened by many things and the death of *****(someone and some issue which i prefer to keep silent), which deeply saddens me...

I would be a liar if i said that i wasn't affected at all. In fact, i am affected, but not in a great extent. I guess it's easier to face matters or issues: as bad as they can be or as dire, than face it later. I learn this fact from experience, to know there is no evasion from pain. An evasion or temporary one might be safe for a certain period. but being too protected only adds up to the pain that one would feel and won't that be a pay back?

I chose to face it and right now and i am glad to say that my determination and courage are paid off. I feel the sadness, i feel pain, but neither of it can suffice an influence over my emotions. I know pain is there, and ironically, i want to face it (to aid getting over it).

Pain and sufferings are necessary for growth. It is also the best catalyst for maturity.
Being able to stand through pain and hardships makes one strong but not immune. Being immune to pain is an impossible and surreal act.

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